Lifting Weights Uses Lots of Energy

I'm remaining strong as my heart continues to be pulled in a million different directions. Every little comment I hear I'm able to align with some struggle going on in my head. There's a new George Clooney movie coming out (no to Mr. Fox or ...Stare at Goats...).  It's a movie where he once again plays an isolated loner, doing some sort of job no one else wants to do, and ignoring the fact that he's painfully lonely and falling in love. Clooney made a comment in the preview, when accused of being too selfish to get emotionally attached to the with a woman with whom he decided to have a racy affair and was obviously growing extremely fond of, about how the things in life that we get emotionally attached to are just there to weigh us down. Spouses, mortgages, best friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, family; all nice to have but in the end limiting to one's potential.

It made me think what is limiting me right now. Family and friends, definitely not I need those more than ever. Mortgage, yes, I realize now the freedom that comes with either no mortgage or a very affordable mortgage in a great economy. I'm thankful that I don't have trouble paying the mortgage, but feel suffocated by the fact that I can't do anything or go anywhere because of it. Boyfriend, do I feel weighed down by my relationship? Why would I. Rick is supportive and willing to try anything. He's ready to make this work where ever we may end up. So then what else is left? Well, there's me.

I'm sure this is what the Clooney movie ends on: "you are your own worst enemy, you are the only one who can stop you from doing anything to better yourself or to make yourself happy". I'm zapping my own energy and poor Rick, being the closest person to me, is forced to (though unknowingly) bear the brunt of the blame. Aye yi yi, what will I do with myself.  I'm starting by listening to the "Addressing Relationship Energy Drainers" podcast on my new fav go-to website Two of Us.org. Hoping this will help me realize what about me and my relationship seems to sucking my energy.

Support is More than being Supportive

I've come to realize that supporting someone in a relationship takes so much more effort than the occasional "good job" or "hang in there".  Supporting is the proactive art of realizing when your significant other is in need of support and having the energy to provide it.  For example, if your significant other decides to go back to school support isn't just telling them good job, it's turning off the TV to give them quiet study time or taking time out to help them make flashcards. Living with someone makes it even harder. It's difficult to always be there for them.  Sometimes we want to be selfish, and gosh-darn-it sometimes we need to be!  But more often than not we have to sacrifice our own selfish needs and be there for the person that we love.  If we don't have the energy to do that then maybe we need to re-evaluate why we're in a relationship.  It has to be more give than take for each person in order to make it work.

On top of that we have to be willing to accept the support that is offered to us.  When Rick notices that I've stopped studying for the GMAT after having gotten a less than acceptable score on a practice test, I can't just ignore his gentle pushes in the right direction.  Support isn't simply getting back rub or a shoulder to cry on all the time.  At some point support has to be a little tough to get you moving and motivated.  Who would have thought getting support would be just as hard as giving it? Relationships tend to complicate things in that way.