I've come to realize that supporting someone in a relationship takes so much more effort than the occasional "good job" or "hang in there". Supporting is the proactive art of realizing when your significant other is in need of support and having the energy to provide it. For example, if your significant other decides to go back to school support isn't just telling them good job, it's turning off the TV to give them quiet study time or taking time out to help them make flashcards. Living with someone makes it even harder. It's difficult to always be there for them. Sometimes we want to be selfish, and gosh-darn-it sometimes we need to be! But more often than not we have to sacrifice our own selfish needs and be there for the person that we love. If we don't have the energy to do that then maybe we need to re-evaluate why we're in a relationship. It has to be more give than take for each person in order to make it work.
On top of that we have to be willing to accept the support that is offered to us. When Rick notices that I've stopped studying for the GMAT after having gotten a less than acceptable score on a practice test, I can't just ignore his gentle pushes in the right direction. Support isn't simply getting back rub or a shoulder to cry on all the time. At some point support has to be a little tough to get you moving and motivated. Who would have thought getting support would be just as hard as giving it? Relationships tend to complicate things in that way.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment