Lifting Weights Uses Lots of Energy

I'm remaining strong as my heart continues to be pulled in a million different directions. Every little comment I hear I'm able to align with some struggle going on in my head. There's a new George Clooney movie coming out (no to Mr. Fox or ...Stare at Goats...).  It's a movie where he once again plays an isolated loner, doing some sort of job no one else wants to do, and ignoring the fact that he's painfully lonely and falling in love. Clooney made a comment in the preview, when accused of being too selfish to get emotionally attached to the with a woman with whom he decided to have a racy affair and was obviously growing extremely fond of, about how the things in life that we get emotionally attached to are just there to weigh us down. Spouses, mortgages, best friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, family; all nice to have but in the end limiting to one's potential.

It made me think what is limiting me right now. Family and friends, definitely not I need those more than ever. Mortgage, yes, I realize now the freedom that comes with either no mortgage or a very affordable mortgage in a great economy. I'm thankful that I don't have trouble paying the mortgage, but feel suffocated by the fact that I can't do anything or go anywhere because of it. Boyfriend, do I feel weighed down by my relationship? Why would I. Rick is supportive and willing to try anything. He's ready to make this work where ever we may end up. So then what else is left? Well, there's me.

I'm sure this is what the Clooney movie ends on: "you are your own worst enemy, you are the only one who can stop you from doing anything to better yourself or to make yourself happy". I'm zapping my own energy and poor Rick, being the closest person to me, is forced to (though unknowingly) bear the brunt of the blame. Aye yi yi, what will I do with myself.  I'm starting by listening to the "Addressing Relationship Energy Drainers" podcast on my new fav go-to website Two of Us.org. Hoping this will help me realize what about me and my relationship seems to sucking my energy.