The Cultural Fascination

I am both terribly intrigued and infatuated with the hispanic culture. The language, the music, the art, the entire state-of-mind. Most of my friends would taunt that I've only become so entirely enveloped with these feelings since my heart was enveloped by Rick. But that's not true. After I saw Mi Vida Loca back in 8th grade I took on a wardrobe of dego tees, baggy pants, and anything with an Adidas logo on it. I became known for my dark lipstick, though thank God I didn't shave off and redraw my eyebrows. Sad Girl was scrawled across every notebook I owned in high school. And it seems that the hispanic cultured was just as attracted to me. I managed to make good friends out of all of the Hispanic women that I worked with at the car dealership where I worked throughout some of high school and most of college. Maybe it was because they were the closest thing to another black female in the building, but I connected with them. Years later they're still my friends. In college this obsession was slated if only for a bit. By senior year I had reconnected with a few of my Mexicanas from the dealership and had started frequenting Mexican clubs. That's where I met Rick so I guess it was all for the best.

Here I am still, if not more, disgustingly consumed with a culture that is not my own. The more I learn, the more I discover, the more I am entrenched. It is not entirely unhealthy though because I don't fantasize about being a Latina. To them, I am the different one and I like that. I just wish I was the different one that spoke their language *smirk* or cooked their food or better understood their family dynamics. So I bought a Mexican cookbook the other day. Nothing too intimidating, as it boasts only 100 of the recipes core to the Mexican food culture. I've also convinced my friend to take Spanish classes with me because I don't care how many vocab words she can recite she doesn't remember any more than I do from high school Spanish class. It's a good start. That is, if a 10-year in the making fixation can be considered a "start".